Body shaming; Let's talk about it

As I sat down on the couch to go through my daily blog roll, I came across Alyssa of Stylish Curves (which should most definitely be on your blogroll!) SC usually shares her awesome finds with fashion for fuller figures and she's no stranger to curvy girl celebrity news....But, one of her entries today really got me thinking about body shaming. The post is titled, Lucky Magazine Shows Love to Curvy Girls in the January 2011 Issue. Here she talks about how it's very rare to see curvy bodies in Lucky magazine and questions whether this is their attempt to pacify the majority of the female population.


One thing stood out to me as I was reading her post..."It would be nice to see a feature that reads how to embrace your curves stylishly. If you have large round hips show women how to embrace them and not hide them." 

The only way I know how to hide 10 lbs in seconds
is by hiding my two 5 lb dumbbells in my closet!

Those of us in the fat acceptance/body acceptance community recognize that the media and fashion industry plays a huge role in how women feel about their bodies. I think most of us larger women would be surprised to know that even our slimmer counterparts feel the pressure too! Magazine covers scream at us to "Lose weight & be sexy" or "How to flatter your figure at any size". I, too, pose the question, "Why can't we just teach women how to accept and love their bodies?"


Inspired by SC, I created a status on facebook:

"Instead of dressing to flatter, i.e. dressing to make yourself appear slimmer because fashion magazines say that is what is favorable, learn how to embrace your large hips, fluffy thighs or ample breasts! Embrace your curvy body, don't hide it! It's beautiful too!"

This opened up a discussion between my friends and I about body image. As we went back and forth, a male friend of mine even opened up about how he sometimes feels the way that we do, but for the opposite reason; He thinks he's too skinny for a man. Needless to say, I found this quite interesting. Body acceptance isn't just something that women and teens struggle with.

How confusing? How can you tell women to love their
shape & flatter your body? That's not loving
your shape, IMO...that's body shaming.

I, too, have been known to bash my body. As a matter of fact, just this morning, I was dropping my roommate off at work and our discussion went from finding the right bra to us both complaining about how we don't like our inner thighs. "They jiggle too much." Liz (current roomie) pointed how her ex loved her thighs but she never cared for them. I shook my head in agreement. Never have I had a boyfriend or any guy in general tell me, "Nichole, your thighs are too big." If anything, it's one body part that they found sexy.


So I sat back and thought about it. If guys can find our jiggly bits irresistible then why do we find the need to only see it as being disgusting? 


I mean, when you take a look at what society's idea of beauty is, I don't technically fit that. Blond hair, blue eyes, slim thighs and a flat stomach. Then there's the exotic beautiful like Angelina Jolie types. Where does that leave me, a brown hair, brown eyes  5'10" curvy size 20/22? Where do I fit in? Sure, I've been told that I'm an attractive woman, but I've also been told I'd be much prettier if I lost weight, more successful, etc. When I was younger, I thought the back handed compliment was the truth. As I grow older and come to terms with the fact that this is the only body I'm going to have, I definitely treat it much nicer. I give myself compliments daily. My body is like a well oiled machine. Currently, I have no medical issues and I can run up a flight of stairs and not pass out once I hit the top.


But still, I have my moments like today where I bashed my thighs and confessed that it's their evil doing as to why I will not wear shorts. It's a constant struggle to not revert back to that awkward 17 year old girl who seemed to always tower over everyone in school. The girl who sometimes put on that confidence just to fool everyone else.


I went on a bit of a tangent, I apologize. It's just that when I read the titles of these magazines, I'm peeved beyond imagination. SERIOUSLY! It burns my muffins! It takes me back to the days when I was completely uncomfortable with my body...and there are still tons (no pun intended) of women out there that believe the fluff that beauty magazines pump out! If the media and fashion industry doesn't do more to help teach women and young girls how to love their bodies instead of hiding, flattering and covering up, then really, how much have we progressed as a movement? Now that magazines are attempting to embrace "plus size" models (read size 8-12) and showcasing them in their magazines I feel a bit of hope. This was definitely unheard of when I was growing up. 


I want to ask every magazine that publishes such shame, What is wrong with me? Why must I want to look small in order to feel good about myself? Why be ashamed of my body? Shouldn't we continue teaching young girls that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, yada, yada, yada? I recognize that not all women want to be the size that they may be for whatever reason, and that is your personal choice, but I want you to know LIFE DOES NOT BEGIN 5 LBS FROM NOW. Life is/should be happening as we speak. FASHION DOES NOT ONLY EXIST FOR SLIM WOMEN. You don't have to cover up your arms, unless you want to. You can wear stripes going in whatever direction you please. Skinny jeans? Pft, BRING IT!


I want us to openly talk about body shame. I definitely want your thoughts on the subject too. Do you find yourself going back and forth about your own body acceptance?

While you're thinking and discussing, check Erika's post on how she views herself. I promise, it's a great read and you won't be disappointed. Add her to your daily reads as well!