|Our very first picture together in my car on|
the way back home from O'Hare.
We considered this day to be our official anniversary, although we had been together since Christmas...but because this was the day that we finally met face to face, it would be dubbed our anniversary.
A year later, and while it still stings a bit that we did not make it to our official 1-year anniversary, I don't have a single regret about my decision to move here to follow love. I won't sit here and tell you all that I don't wish for the outcome to be different, that would be a lie. I still do wish that we were planning our weekend out together and enjoying each other. But reality versus expectations vary greatly! Yet, there is a part of me that is so pleased that I got to experience a love and connection like this. It was more than physical and emotional...it was also, spiritual. I can make the decision to be sad and bitter or I can accept what is happening and find a moment of clarity to thank God for placing an amazing person in my life.
Looking at the bigger picture, if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have met all of my awesome LA family. Some of you are his friends and some I've gotten the pleasure to meet through blogging. Either way, none of this would have been possible with him in my life. And I still believe in love, even when my heart feels less than whole.
At the moment, we have not had any conversations discussing "us" or where we stand or what we'd like to do. I'm slightly ok with this, because when we do have a talk, I want to be able to express what I want without breaking down.
In the mean time, I am keeping busy today by moving into a new, more permanent spot. I think this is going to be crucial for my transplant to LA. I have yet to feel like I have "settled in," so this is going to be good for me. (BTW, when I moved here, Ryan and I did not shack up. Originally, that was the plan but we later mutually decided that we may not be ready.) Then later, I'm sure to see Ryan as a I head over to Plei tonight. I'm sure I will be fine. I'm sure of it.
I say all of this to say, Happy 1-year of knowing you sir. :o) If you even read this...Thank you for loving me and exposing me to your world.