Monday, August 13, 2012
A few weeks ago, I received a call from Dr. Mainor-Roth (the OB/GYN that admitted me into L&D). It had been about 6 weeks since I delivered Parker. Dr. Mainor-Roth mentioned that one of my labs came back abnormal and to she wanted to do more testing to rule out any blood clotting disorders. At that moment, I felt like FINALLY we would know the reason as to why Parker passed in utero. I was directed to go to the hospital around the end of July for more testing.
As usual, I procrastinated with going to get my blood work done. There was a part of me that was happy that I was going to find out the reason my angel passed. Then there was another part of me that was terrified to find out that there was something wrong with me. Eventually, I put on my big girl panties and got it over with. Within about 10 minutes, the testing was over and the waiting game began.
During the days of waiting, Parker's 2 month angelversary came and went. I was so busy with work that I couldn't even stop to breathe and process anything. I also started my 2nd cycle since the delivery. It wasn't until I got my test results, that I broke down. My test results came back good and everything was normal. I am free and clear of any blood clotting disorders for the time being. I even got the go ahead to continue trying to conceive. You'd think that all of this great news would make one happy but all I could do was hold back tears. I was back at square one. I had no answers, and now we would never know what happened. And on top of all that, aunt flow showed her ugly face. *sigh* I swear, in high school, they really made you think that whenever you had sex, 9 months later BAM! Baby! Totally not true.
I've decided that I'm not going to continue with the OPKs. I can't read that line to save my life. I don't have time to figure out if the test line is indeed darker than the control line. Yeah, I got over that really quick! I'll just stick to the pre-seed (I swear it's awesome sauce, pun intended) and good old love making. I'll revisit the OPKs down the line if necessary.